B Squared Takes Big Sky

Went out on a Saturday night to a party with an actual band. Practiced a French exit. Was probably the first to leave. But hey, I actually left the house on a Saturday night in actual years.

Embraced the fact that watching cake decorating videos soothes me and followed as many Insta related accounts that I could find. You have cat videos, I have cake.

Ran into the same person twice during errands cementing the fact that Bozeman is a ridiculously small town.

Cheered “Yay, Science!” after Brian found the word ‘homology’ in The NY Times Spelling Bee game securing my Genius level status. Still don’t understand what the word means, but it worked!

Spent 4 hours between us shoveling the first two feet of snow expected this weekend. Made plans to snowshoe to the brewery later. Successfully arrived via snowshoes and treated ourselves to some pints! *Update: I fell in snowbanks twice on the way home.*

Received messages from USPS and DHL saying they were unable to deliver mail in said snowy conditions or that we weren’t home. Ironic because the USPS’s motto is to deliver in rain, sleet, or snow and DHL must have given up, as we were home shoveling out our driveway. <Insert Palm to Face Here>

Was pleasantly surprised to see that my March Madness bracket ranked in the 89th percentile. Thank you, San Diego State!

Stopped at a light behind a fancy vehicle with a ‘H8Wintr’ license plate. Found that I could relate and appreciated the sentiment. No doubt they were a new Montana resident and will undoubtedly have their car egged in the future.

Joined Brian on a scavenger hunt through a local park as we looked for the radio hyped Easter keg. The finder of the keg would win free beer for a year from our favorite brewery. We did not find it, but we’re proud to have tried.

Learned that I’m being conditioned with the promise of books each time I leave the house. As in, “If you go with me to find the Easter keg, I’ll take you to buy a book.” He later confessed that if he managed to get me out of the house, he wanted to reward the behavior. 🤣

Realized I hadn’t done a blog post in a month. Cut myself slack when I remembered that I’m 41k words into a book, traveled for nearly two weeks, and that life isn’t always super interesting when off from work.

Placed in the 98th percentile for my Oscar ballot on ESPN, a new and pleasant gaming opportunity that required constant refreshing of the app and more competitiveness than usual. Brian placed in the 83rd. He’s come so far in 11 years and no longer requires a handicap.

The Scientist came home and announced that he unexpectedly had an intern paired with him at the lab. Then was told, “Well, it was an extern, really, whatever that is.” After some googling, it is a person that shadows a role as opposed to having assigned responsibilities. The more you know.

Raced outside to get the trash to the curb as the trash truck approached. It may only happen once in a lifetime that Brian forgets and I savored my mini hero moment. MAY have intentionally used my Queen Bee coffee cup in celebration. He, no doubt, would say he didn’t want the garage door opening to wake me.

Was told that since it was date night, he’d turn up the heat in the house. Envision the massive eye roll that followed this statement.

Initially busted my bracket thanks to Arizona’s defeat to Princeton. Was informed I could soon play in the second chance bracket, a far cry from last year’s winning one. Asked more than once in the following days, “How broken can a bracket get?”

Asked how Brian slept. Was told okay. It was followed with, “but you took over the bed, so I had to sleep downstairs starting at 2.” 🤦🏼‍♀️

Celebrated St. Patrick’s Day with numerous green beers, a boozy cupcake, Ted Lasso, cheering on Montana State, and by finishing a puzzle. Maintained our annual tradition of delivering Guinness to our next door neighbors much to their delight.

Offered an, “Well, that escalated quickly,” as we went from no snow to 6 inches in an hour. Spent an hour shoveling the driveway and neighboring sidewalks or according to my Apple Watch, I “danced” since there is no ‘snow shoveling’ exercise activity option.

Made our now annual, pandemic inspired, drive to check for First of the Year Mountain Bluebirds in a nearby recreation area. Came up empty, but managed to see hundreds of white tailed deer and antelope. You win some, you lose some.

Had a visit with one of Brian’s out of state best friends. My introvert cup runnethed over when he said he preferred to stay at our home instead of journeying to a nearby brewery. Later chuckled on the inside when the conversation turned to their nostalgic researcher days. Learned the friend can still successfully tutor in chemistry whereas my Scientist probably could not.

Felt triumphant at learning that my jury duty had been excused within hours of me emailing my request. The actual summons finally arrived two days later.

It’s the slow season at The Scientist’s lab and it became obvious when he shared that his big achievement that day was mopping the floor.

Mailed out Valentines to the godchildren. Accidentally signed my last name. Fail. I may live far, but I’m pretty sure the last name only served to confuse.

Watched a new British murder mystery show and received a knowing glance from The Scientist upon mention of a Synchrotron being used to run forensic tests. While I recognized the word from numerous previous mentions, I neither know what it does, nor how to spell it.

Took a three mile walk in the winter sunshine where we both froze and sweated simultaneously. Timed it just right for the new brewery to be open for lunch. Talk about lunch with a view.

Cries of “Brittany is FREE!!!” a la Dobby the House Elf rang out as I am now officially off for the next 37 days for extended vacation.

Questioned Brian about the clunky noise emanating from the dryer. Was told it was nothing. Decided not to push. Later he discovered he had washed his AirPods.

Our SuperBowl Sunday consistented of our monthly citizen scientist bird count, a looong walk in the morning to burn off as many calories as possible to compensate for later, briefly panicking as I discovered a dead mountain lion immediately adjacent to the trail (Montana is not for sissies) and combing over our bird books in excitement when we realized that a visiting Northern Flicker looked different only to realize it was an Intergrade! (I need more bird friends to share in my excitement.)

Discovered a new fave bird cam in North Carolina. Counted 24 species of birds in an hour. Meanwhile we counted 5 types of sparrows at ours. Later in the week enjoyed a vivid sunrise on a Canadian bird cam.

Listened as Brian cheerily announced that a paper he contributed to would be the journal cover article. He deemed it, “Kinda cool when you make the cover.” Tried to articulate what I thought I remembered the project being about. Was firmly told no. The name of the journal? Toxins. <insert a Charlie Brown ‘Good grief’ here>

Spent another Monday night happily drinking beer at a brewery and selling books on behalf of the local library. Was probably one of our best customers.

Watched as they closed the main highway in the state for up to 24 hours because of poor road conditions. Found this shocking but also validating as the atrocious road conditions have been the biggest cause of my recent crabbiness. Another section of highway closed later in the week as a cattle truck went awry.

Chuckled and gaped as someone actually began ice skating in our parking lot. If that’s not a sign of icy conditions I don’t know what is.

Had no fewer than 5 packages arrival at our local post office but remain undelivered. Also undelivered? The jury duty notice for the day AFTER I leave for California. Thank you Informed Delivery for giving me the chance to avoid a bench warrant.

Was awoken 15 minutes before I had to get up thanks to Brian sitting on car keys triggering the alarm. Received Starbucks, my favorite breakfast and an apology as compensation.

Had an episode of Yellowstone ruined for me thanks to being married to a scientist who works at the Montana department of livestock and knows better than the screenwriters.

Felt immensely grateful for my hatchback style of car as in one week I hauled numerous boxes of books back to the library, 4 car seats, 4 pack n plays, and had 2 loads of crap from work that I fetched from our parking lot storage cube. Perhaps I am mistaken in my choice of car now that I think about it?

Passed a new development in town only to realize that all the street names had an alcohol theme. Names included Firewater, Blue Label, and Johnny Walker.

Happily observed motivated people getting ice climbing lessons on our favorite trail. Brian thought he “could totally do that” and I was just glad that I finished a 2 mile hike in winter in one piece.

Continued to receive Christmas cards in the mail thus setting both a new record and validating that I have my sh*t together more than I think.

Learned it was National Squirrel Day. Refused to celebrate as those buggers ruin every bird cam they visit.

Bought the newest book in my favorite mystery series from a bookstore in England as their release date is three months earlier than the one in the US. My bookish friend influenced this choice. Would love to be a fly on the wall when the store realizes the same book is going to Montana twice.

Opted to still go out for some exercise despite realizing it had began to snow in addition to it just being cold. Deciding factor? I had already put on two pairs of pants.

Tried to eat healthy by having a smoothie for lunch. Heard the blender make a bad noise. Kaput. Suggested we save the ingredients, but the idea was squashed by Brian due to the likelihood of metal blade bits. Really kaput.

Volunteered in role my as a board member at the book swap hosted by a local brewery. Overheard the two librarians that joined us debate if they were “read with book covers on or off” type of people. It’s a good life.

Spent an hour and a half shoveling the heaviest snow of my life. Was asked by the neighbor if I lost a bet.

Came downstairs after working out and washing my hair to find that Brian had completed all the tax prep for the accountant. The things one is desperate enough to do when it’s -7 out.

Planned out my nearly two week So Cal visit now that my ultra long vacation was finalized at work. Cheers to seeing godbabies, friends, family and having an ocean stay. California here I come!!

Gasped out loud as a funny gurgling sound emanated from the completely empty bathroom. Discovered the toilet had gone rogue, erupting water everywhere. Panicked and filmed it for Brian to deal with during his lunch break. Later discovered the city had been doing work on the nearby sewer lines.

Settled in to view the Golden Globes for the first time since 2021 not knowing what to expect. Embraced the awkwardness and again wondered why I bother with award shows as I can’t stand (and thus quickly mute) the acceptance speeches.

Watched the College Football Playoff game. The first half anyway as the TCU underdog status quickly became even more noticeable and thus ruined the fun. Fair weather fans, indeed.

Worked on a family fun Jeopardy inspired craft project for a loved one’s milestone birthday. Enjoyed the fact that it occurred on the same day as my networking group’s family feud based holiday party.

Requested The Scientist’s permission to add his lab partner as a Facebook friend after she was flagged as a person I may know. He looked at me weird and then consented.

Laughed as Brian moaned, “Agh, sometimes I forget how young you are!” after I told him that a classic rock tune on the radio brought back fond memories of childhood as it had appeared on my Barbie music CD.

Listened with equal parts dismay and curiosity as relatives recounted the good ‘ol days when a nice raccoon pelt would have earned you $60. Also learned that one should never eat opossum if one can help it.

Got caught in the middle of political crossfire of yelling resulting in me feeling the need to shout, “Can’t we just watch Price is Right like a normal, happy family??”

Realized I have not yet mastered the whole back to work in the office thing as I left my car door completely open all night after returning home, forgot my lunch bag, and now have to actually think about what to wear.

Celebrated a major work win by crafting myself a name plate for my desk in the new building as no one knows where anyone sits resulting in a lot wandering and asking for input from colleagues.

Watched a commercial on TV. Thought the person speaking looked like me. Realized at the same time as Brian that it WAS actually me having filmed it on behalf of a local corporate partner celebrating a milestone anniversary.

Brian’s hip popped. I asked him if he had a warranty and he happily told me no.

Was forced to apologize for Brian’s Instagram that was now full of chickens after I shared a post about how infrequent chickens kill or injure people. I was helpfully trying to reassure him after hearing for the better part of eleven years about the childhood incident involving fighting chickens. An obvious backfire on my part.

Achieved old people status by having dinner at 4:30pm multiple times this week. Party people central.

Made it to 11pm on New Year’s Eve. Was woken up promptly at midnight thanks to our neighbor’s enthusiastic use of fireworks despite the ear plugs.

Found a dollar in a parking lot on New Year’s Day eliciting cheers and hope for the coming months.

Realized that not enough life happened to warrant a blog post over the holidays (unless you count copious amounts of book reading, crap food eating, and football watching) and that it would be biweekly entry type of deal.

Counted up the number of new birds seen in 2022 and tallied a whopping 30. Was promptly told by Brian that I had “better get on it” for 2023.

Listened to The Scientist lament the new, much more intense protocols around avian flu testing he must do now that they know humans can get it. It involved the wearing of a special outfit and probably other things but I checked out as a defense mechanism.

Was offered a one thousand dollar gift card if one of us agreed to take a much later flight home since it was overbooked. Promptly replied to the airline rep that it would kill me to pick Brian up from the airport at 1am because we both knew I would not be the one left behind.

Worried that my scratchy throat was COVID. Was helpfully reminded by Brian that I’d recently worn a mask all day while traveling AND spent time in smokey AF casinos. Fingers crossed. (It wasn’t.)

Checked in on a family member that tested positive. They were remarkably chirper and enjoying copious amounts of television. Later got to wish them a Merry COVID Christmas.

Officially kicked off “Go Outside and You Die Weather” two months earlier than usual with lows in the negative thirties with a high of negative fifteen. The Scientist meanwhile worried that our soon to arrive COVID tests would freeze in the mail. P.S. The extra tests left in the truck did freeze….

Took shifts mopping up puddles of water inside the house thanks to the melting ice from the windows. You know, because it was -33 outside.

Made a note to purchase more COVID tests from Costco now that it’s doom season and I took three tests that clearly confirmed I was neurotic and had a baby cold.

Lamented another week in Fantasy Football season with a, “These f*cking a**holes are going to kill me!” as well as a, “Do I lose points if it’s a pick six?!” much to the amusement of Brian.

Told Brian to just Google it for the thousandth time this year over a Love Actually related character question much to his chagrin and my delight.

Had a jolly Christmas with plenty of booze, food, football, electric candles that glowed red and green, rain, lasagna, family phone calls and naps by 2pm.

A cold snap in Montana in December means waiting in panic to see if the cracking sound you heard when you tried the car door handle was it breaking off or just ice shifting. The handle lived. Brian’s wiper blades not so much.

Chuckled as Brian reported back that he saw our next door neighbor racing the trash truck to get his can out and did so in his socks through the fresh and plentiful snow on the driveway.

Asked Brian how his day was and received a chipper, “I only had to deal with a skunk’s head so I didn’t get smelly!” I think it means he had a good day?

Visited a pharmacy near the Strip and realized many of the basic sundries are kept locked up. Booze I get, but lotion???

Got accosted by food and entertainment hustlers trying to offer up discounted options while walking on the Strip. Was asked if I liked steak (No), was asked if I gambled (No), and did I like shows (No). Was then promptly asked why I was in Vegas then. Exactly.

Gaped at Brian when he meekly shared that the stripper dressed as an elf smacked his ass as we passed after rejecting her bid for a photo. This is why I’m not a Vegas person.

Decided all the hassle and Vegas shenanigans were worth it after seeing Adele in concert. My god, does that woman put on a show. If I get COVID, it WILL still be worth it.

Continued to do Vegas our way by birding on the UNLV campus and visiting various art exhibits. Gambled only once when Brian spotted a Conan the Barbarian themed machine. His $20 was gone by the time I finished taking his photo.

Found the mall located on the Strip and cheered. A multistory shopping center even better than what I experienced during my childhood. It had everything you could want (including a cupcake vending machine!) as long as you didn’t want a bookstore. 🤣

Visited The Neon Museum, a boneyard chock full of historic Vegas signage. Oooed and ahhed appropriately.

Continued to monitor the Florida martini bar webcam. Happily discovered that they serve breakfast, still have the velvet ropes in the morning, and that 235 other souls were also tuned in.

Had ourselves a little Montana State University date night reveling in the annual holiday tradition of lighting up Montana Hall. Blue and gold colored treats were had, managed not to fall on the icy sidewalks, and oohed and ahhed at both the campus preschool choir performance and festive lights.

Received three random automated phone calls requesting my participation in a nationwide COVID survey. Decided it was spam and cursed them like I do all my other junk calls.

Was reassured with a, “Don’t worry. I tested negative twice!” after a friend that was recently COVID positive sat next to me. Decided I just didn’t care anymore.

Continued to enjoy our elf on the shelf notes although Brian tried to deny he wrote mine prompting an eye roll and guffaw from me.

Overheard at The Eilers: Brian: You threw away the tape that had my splinter on it! I was going to take it to work and look at it under the microscope. Me: Who does that?? Brian: A scientist! Me: <insert palm to face here>

Celebrated that Friday’s mail haul brought only Christmas cards. Whoop whoop!

Paused to smell candles for sale in the hopes of finding a new holiday scented one. Couldn’t smell it due to the intense amount of packaging. Cue Brian piping in with a joke about me having COVID. Funny not funny.

Shopped at Target and had to pause when I heard Brian laughing behind me in the candy aisle. He had spotted the “packaged sugar” sign. Target calling it as it is per usual.

An almost fight broke out during our first citizen scientist Rosy Finch Project feeder watch session over whether or not we were properly counting the Black-Capped Chickadees. Was forced to compromise for the sake of science.

Locked myself out of the house. To add to the fun, sans phone. Stood on the driveway and pondered my options. Did not panic. Much. Realized I’d have to resort to asking my fabulous, remote working neighbors to let me borrow their phone. Made plans to make them an extra key stat.

Got honked at while waiting at a red light. Nothing unusual in that these days given I’m honked at least once a week by impatient fellow drivers. This time it was my mother en route to work. Chatted until the light changed. Small town life.

Got my twice annual skin check done. I see my dermatologist as much as my dentist now. Thank you, Skin Cancer! <Insert Go Get Checked PSA Here>

Cheered for the afternoon thunderstorm. Yelled, “MY ZINNIA’S!” upon seeing hail and voluntold Brian to bring them inside. My hollyhocks weren’t as lucky.

Met a friend at a brewery. Had to be dropped off by Brian since he drove over my driver’s license I had forgotten in his wallet just in case I was carded. I wasn’t. This is what almost being forty looks like I suppose.

Put on my “I feel like I’m playing at being an adult and getting away with it” hat by sending out reminders and documents to review in preparation for a meeting next week thanks to the board president being in Europe. 

Marveled at a postcard I received from a friend. It was from a place she had no connection to and randomly found in a book, having no idea my in-laws were from the area. What are the odds? Unless I forgot I sent the card to her in the first place…

Continued to joyfully send voice texts to the bestie, but now abide by the keep it under the 10 minute rule, less we lose another message that was inaccessible due to its large file size. It was me. I sent the 17 minute message that resulted in a policy.

Was informed that our original Door Dash delivery person was alleged to have stolen our dinner. Promptly received a call from customer service. Cue privileged whining.

Volunteered at the used book sale and helped an older woman carry books to her car. Was told to tell my parents they raised me right. 🤣

Porch dropped treats for our neighbor’s dog. Questioned Brian tapping up the bag containing said treats. As in, “Why are you taping the bottom of the bag? Why can’t we just throw it away if it has a hole in it?” Received a “Because it’s still a good bag!” as a response.

Tried to convince Brian that servant leadership was him going up the stairs to retrieve something I forgot. He looked skeptical, and I looked lazy. (I was.)

Knew it was a Monday when I got a follow up call from the eye doctor’s office checking on my new contact trials. After hemming and hawing, I told them they were slightly better, and promptly received my updated prescription in my email. Later realized I’d never actually USED the trial pair, having confused them with the old ones. <insert palm to face here>

Received a rather lengthy and detailed explanation from The Scientist as to what “wash buffer” was after hearing details from his day. It’s a soapy solution, people. He had no response when I asked why it wasn’t just called soapy solution.

Turned the quickly melting snowbank in my front yard into a recliner to see the stars, aka me throwing in the towel on my day by heaving myself onto a pile of snow because having a fit in the street was too dramatic. <insert *Instagram vs. Reality* joke here>

Ate my first Easter candy of the season. In January. I haven’t even finished the candy I got for Christmas yet. What happened to Valentine’s Day?

Was alarmed to have the new car beep rather ominously while flashing an alert message on the dashboard notifying me the car ahead had pulled forward. Cue being forced to admit I was distracted. It’s happened at least twice since and shames me every time. Don’t get me started on the seatbelt alarm that blares in increasing volume when I drive 300 feet from the mailbox to the driveway sans belt.

Became the proud owner of a Bird Buddy, a camera equipped bird feeder that sends photos of the visiting birds to an app on your phone. How did this birder bucket list gift come about? A dear friend invested in the Kickstarter campaign, found it in a closet, acknowledged their Magpie problem, and made my birder soul happy. Stay tuned for the inevitable photos, and documentation of Brian installing it.

Took a mental health afternoon by putting on cozy clothes, eating some snacks, putting the phone on do not disturb, taking a mini nap, and watching episodes of Northern Exposure for the first time ever.

Placed a bet with Brian during an evening stroll if the neighbors still proudly illuminating their Christmas lights (including giant inflatables) would be taking them down this weekend. I’m firmly in the ‘no’ column, and he’s feeling lucky. Winners announced next week.

Tried to figure out how to add a page to my blog website via the new app system. Struggled. Struggled some more. Tabled the idea, telling myself no one needs to read an about me page since this blog is already about me anyways.🤣

House Rules and Lessons Learned When It’s -35°

1. No laundry will be done as the moisture from the drying clothes may have significant and icy implications.

2. No more using blow dryers to melt the interior ice build-up as it may crack the windows.

3. Use of the oven to heat up the house is encouraged especially when brownies are involved.

4. Check on your neighbors and offer up the warm rolls you just baked because the sharing of carbs can be a love language too.

5. Keep the blinds open and fans running to prevent your sh*t from turning into popsicles, thus saving you money in the long run.

6. Move the plants away from the windows or be prepared to lose them.

7. Practice remote starting your car with the app and get comfortable with this new method asap so you don’t freeze inside said vehicle.

8. Make note of the draftiest places in the house to fix in preparation for the next inevitable polar vortex. Consult with MN friends on the plastic wrap method of window insulation.

9. Guava hard candy from your Christmas stocking really does make you feel like you’re in a tropical place. For 30 seconds.

10. Feed the dang birds!

11. You will still have to kill bugs inside the house because gnats seem to live through anything??

12. You can (and should!) check the temperature of the crawlspace using your water alarm app.

13. You are fortunate and privileged. Repeat to yourself when excessive b*tching feels imminent.

Felt less guilty about my frozen houseplant after learning our next door neighbors not only lost a plant themselves, but in the same spot in their house as ours, speaking to a design flaw as opposed to a human one. At least that’s what I’m going to tell myself.

Applied Scotch tape to our cracked window after consulting PBS’s This Old House’s website. They actually recommended masking tape which we didn’t have, but if the window is already effed, does it even matter?

Continued to learn how to drive a car fifteen years too technologically advanced for my current skill set. Finally figured out how to turn on the heater for my feet just in time for the polar vortex to end. Noted Sirius XM, while fabulous for meeting nostalgic pop music needs, stops playing near tall buildings or in the garage.

Got into the wrong car after an appointment at the dealership, thus practicing the art of graceful scurry. Also on the same day? Received a call while driving and panicked as I barely know how to drive the thing as is. Ignored it, later texting the caller upon arrival. They happily reported seeing me driving, and wanted to say hi. I asked if I looked terrified and they confirmed.

Met a VIP from our newest corporate partner. Soon realized we could be friends after spending 10 minutes talking about our mutual love for Taylor Swift. Proudly proclaimed, “You’re a Swiftie!” cementing a solid start to our relationship.

Got asked if I had a granddog after I disclosed that I was one of the few locals sans dog. Spent the rest of the day questioning if I looked old enough to have a granddog.

Celebrated a loved one by creating a birthday tribute video inspired by the Golden Girls theme song. And no, it won’t be posted here, as it’s something only a mother could love, and thankfully she did. Brian was in charge of the lyrics and tech, while I contributed props and instrumental music courtesy of YouTube. 🤣

Attended my first Board of Trustees meeting in my capacity as partner organization liaison. Felt woefully out of my depth (but warmly welcomed!), regretful of my choice to wear jeans, and gooey inside after my report was pronounced, “well done.”

Realized that my mom and the mom of a friend met recently much to our mutual delight and exclamations of “damn it’s a small town” vibes.

Asked a loved one to mend my jeans leading to ample clarifying questions since there were many holes in said pants as they were “distressed” jeans. A lesson on the various levels of distressed jeans resulted in a well deserved eye roll from the loved one.

Shopped for bird food at a locally owned and operated hardware store. Saw bird memes posted in the bird feed aisle. Learned our check out clerk built a sofa that rotates so her grandma may see her feeders whenever she wanted. Annnnnd that’s why you shop local. I pay extra for jokes and anecdotes.

Discovered the marvel that is Winco. Decided to leave when our hands were full of snacks and deli sandwiches, and before a cart was actually needed.

After taking over a very “Brittany” centric task of hole punching the season’s holiday cards to save them for next year’s display, implying he could do a better job, and then doing it wrong, I received a much appreciated and deserved, “I didn’t learn my Barbie lesson, did I? You were right; I was wrong,” from Brian. Ahem, thank you!

Appreciated Brian’s daily updates as to which Taylor Swift song he had stuck in his head. The Man and Lover both made the list. I think I know which album he was listening to. Probably because it plays on repeat in my car thanks to having the CD. YEP, I said CD.

Navigated the frigid, record breaking temps of late with a lot of whining, layers, one cracked window, a houseplant covered in frost (it did not survive), acknowledged privilege, fans to melt the inside nooks and crannies of the house that iced over, wool socks, a grounded diesel truck making me the reigning Carpool Queen, and the forced adaptation of the car buying process for our newly arrived vehicle in order to cope with the -20 conditions. Was told by the chipper salesperson it was ACTUALLY the perfect time to buy a Subaru. Indeed.

Wore my glasses (instead of my usual contacts) to get my hair cut. Promptly was asked to remove them rendering me essentially blind, resulting in my person occasionally calling out, “Muah ah ah!” cartoon villain style as he worked, delighting him and terrifying me. Ended up with the best cut of my life, and probably a few gray hairs.

Made travel plans to go to the midwest in honor of a dear friend’s milestone birthday next month. Never has there been a person more excited to spend time in a woodsy cabin doing perfectly cozy things. Oh yeah, there was actually. And she wrote an entire album about it. IYKYK.

Told my beloved and longtime networking group that I would not be renewing my membership in 2024. Cried ugly tears during my goodbye announcement. Gave the group credit for teaching me how to not only do my job, but how to do life. Many hugs, words of affirmations, and tissues were given. Having just been voted to have increased responsibilities on the Friends of the Bozeman Public Library board the night prior, it was a hard, but necessary decision.

Visited my CAP mentee in a local school on a frantically busy and hard day. Played with a Lite Brite while chatting, filling my cup a thousand times over. Had a loved one point out that it was a literal bright spot in my day. And it was. ❤️✨

Enjoyed increased backyard visitors thanks to the area’s cold snap including: Northern Flickers, Downy Woodpeckers, Dark-Eyed Juncos, and one very frosty looking bunny.

Decided I was a little too enthusiastic and Brian a little too grumpy after getting the register total at Costco. I did warn him in advance as to why I shouldn’t be included in the shopping. A refund was issued when we evaluated our choices and came to our senses.

Purchased a new drying rack after being forced to acknowledge the inconvenience of repairing the old one for the last five years. The new one confused all members of the household and collapses at inconvenient times, so I think we broke even?

Overheard At The Eilers: Me: “You haven’t read my blog yet have you?” Brian: “No, I’ve been too busy living the blog. You can add that to the blog.” Me: “Done!”

Had the bestie patiently teach me the joy of sending voice messages via text. Delighted in this new activity. Later in the week I attempted an elaborate (and lengthy) message only to realize it stopped recording unbeknownst to me and that I had happily yammered to no one for at least two minutes. <face palm>

Scenes from a walk: wine bottle in the sewer drain (after consulting a loved one, they “think they had a really great time”), ice pond cotton looking fluff, love is in the air, a new neighborhood development in the works, and the meeting of Bruno, the horse sized St. Bernard puppy that was so big he even scared the dog walker.

Wore my new Costco coat. Was impressed. Chuckled at the tag description. Promptly saw my neighbor wearing the same coat as well as my coworker.

Asked “What day is it?!” multiple times to multiple people, followed by, “Are you sure?? It doesn’t feel like <insert day of the week here>” Received one empathetic response acknowledging that Monday Night Football occurring on a Saturday did not help.

Watched Taylor Swift’s The Eras Tour Movie as our New Year’s Eve Big Event. Ah, bliss. Watched it again before the rental period was over.

Many shrieks of delight were had upon seeing my high school marching band and college participating in the Rose Parade. <Beams with Alumni Pride>

Successfully applied a temporary tattoo on a loved one as they received it as a stocking stuffer. Successfully, as in only 50% of the words transferred. At least it was the critical one!

Enjoyed a photography exhibit at a local museum. Noticed The Scientist observing an unrelated nearby display. Heard him casually comment to himself, “Oh, that’s a virus.” Following his gaze and the sounds of delighted children, I initially thought he was referring to them. But no, it was an actual 6 ft model of a virus particle as part of an interactive immune system exhibit. He got to point out the parts of the virus much to my enjoyment and his embarrassment.

Heard Brian mutter to himself, “Imma die,” in response to his attempts to stop an anxiety spiral between loved ones. Said loved ones quickly resolved to not wreck the last person in the family deemed “chill.”

Christmas present wrapping involved taking shifts at the kitchen table, many regrets after someone that shall not be named insisted stocking suffers must be wrapped, and the bewildering discovery of 5 things of tape found in the supply box.

Opened the final day of our chocolate advent calendars and discovered Brian’s was EMPTY. No little drum for him. Spent a few minutes holding said calendars while contemplating the potential for bad Christmas vibes.

Proudly took my wrapping to the next level this year as the gifts looked like I wrapped with my eyes open for the first time, well, ever. Things I need to be successful? A large, flat surface, lined paper that doesn’t rip, a holiday themed audiobook, plenty of time, a healthy balance of gift bags and boxes, plenty of elbow room, no prying, judgy eyes, and the acceptance that ribbon is beyond me.

Cheered loud and proud for the Steelers third string QB, Mason Rudolph (and Brian’s best friend’s cousin!), during his epic, Christmas Eve winning performance. May have even participated in the holiday themed crowd sing along in his honor at the conclusion of the game as one does when the MVP shares a name with a very famous, unappreciated reindeer. Cue Team Eilers creating their own football version of the same carol.

Happily discovered all my favorite things in my stocking. Snacks, office supplies, lip balm, hand sanitizer, and scratchers. Was told Staples was the perfect place to shop for me. Concur.

Noted with glee that the mystery present under the tree was marked as mine. Opened it excitedly on Christmas morning to find wiper blades. Had to laugh and appreciate this jokey, but necessary gift. Brian was extra proud to share that he inspired the Autozone employee to do the same for his partner.

Sat in a dark urgent care waiting room before the sun rose so I could be seen for an asthma related issue. Considered trying to find the light switch, but determinedly remained in my little corner after hearing the coughing around me. One must pick their battles.

Prepared for the worst as we geared up to watch USC in the Holiday Bowl against a ranked opponent knowing many of their starters wouldn’t be playing. Calculated they hadn’t won a bowl game since our honeymoon trip in 2017. Remembered the Trojan themed blanket a loved one gifted and busted it out as I am never not cold. Shall now refer to it as the “Rally” blanket. Savored the win and the watching of the eggnog bath at the end.

Repeated for the thousandth time, “We have the best neighbors!” as after inquiring if I was home, they promptly delivered a freshly made baguette. Made my day and my snack plate much so much better.

Made rookie miscalculations that if we wanted discounted home holiday decor for future seasons we should have bought it in mid-December like apparently everyone else, instead trying two days AFTER Christmas. Realized we had forgotten our large outdoor candy canes and put them up anyway since it’s practically still the holiday season for at least two more weeks.

Lost socks for all three pairs I received for Christmas. Searched the house. Searched the laundry. Nothing. Trusted they would turn up. They appeared one by one on their own schedule, and occasionally mixed in with Brian’s.

Heard a distinct “plop” while starting the laundry. Immediately patted my pockets, and then fished my AirPods case out of the filling washer. If Brian can wash (and dry!) his, surely mine can survive a few seconds??

Resolved the water heater issue with only mild mishaps. Was delighted to learn our plumber was not only from So Cal, but played football against my high school team. Winning too, no doubt. 🤦🏼‍♀️ An eye roll was given to The Scientist after hearing he gave the plumber booties to wear from the stash he apparently keeps in our hall closet.

Discovered the sheer magic of hoarfrost much to my delight and the amusement of everyone else in the family. Got schooled on the why’s, the how’s, and learned the hoarfrost of Brian’s childhood had the potential to be toxic thanks to environmental pollution.

Stopped for gas in the middle of nowhere and spotted a rather unusually worded warning sign. Immediately texted it to a friend seeking validation of its weirdness.

Waved my hands frantically after eating fries that were too hot resulting in a restaurant staffer soon visiting our table to check on us, and me being my truest, most awkward self, by exclaiming, “my mouth is hot!” 🤦🏼‍♀️

Brian received a sage suggestion, and I a compliment, (I think?) from the tech and sales support person while at Best Buy, “I like her. She’s funny. You should lock that down. I didn’t even look to see if you had put a ring on it yet.”

Actually laughed out loud when my mother-in-law warned my father-in-law that if he needed to return a phone call during the FCS Championship Semi-Final he would do so downstairs, because she would be watching the game disruption free.

Came home from said merry visit with the in-laws with too many quotes and pearls of wisdom to list. My favorite, however, was the very serious advice of, “You want to stitch something up, use dental floss; that’ll hold stuff together.” Need proof? Look no further than their newly fixed slippers. Call me impressed.

Chuckled when we realized we had lost track of our Elves and therefore could not rehide them for one another. A first-world holiday problem to be sure.

Listened in polite dismay as The Scientist recounted his experience watching the mandatory internet safety video which involved a soap opera style tale about one man’s moral about-face after a life of tech crime. A visit to his lab later in the week proved equally as sad, but nevertheless entertaining when you have a good tour guide.

Visited a loved one. Noted with curiosity the cases of water bottles they kept stored in their second (and unused) bath tub. Was tickled by this, and asked if I could document it for my weekly update.

Excitedly wore my new glasses having told Brian they were different, and a bit out of my comfort zone. Had them on for an hour before bed and he did not notice. They are red.

Heard a funny noise emanating from somewhere in the house. Realized it was our water alarm for the water heater which had begun to leak. Processed next steps which included some googling (First result? Keep Calm!!) and the calling of those in our lives deemed handy. Later contacted a plumbing service and cackled when Brian accidentally misspoke, telling the operator our water heater pan was “pooling with blood” instead of water. Was not surprised when they didn’t call back. Deemed myself the Water Alarm Queen thanks to insisting we have them in the first place.

Took a stroll while wearing sandals because it was almost 50 degrees in December. In Montana. Cue community panic and social media posts from various local government entities suggesting we dance for snow because our 2024 drinking water levels aren’t looking so good.

Gave up on going back to sleep in order to ‘Ooo’ and ‘Ahh’ over the snow we woke up to. Was rewarded as we saw a group of partridge crossing our street. <insert why do partridge cross the road jokes here>.

Continued dealing with the ramifications of receiving a vegan leather jacket I did not order à la Friends’ Phoebe Buffay (IYKYK) style, much to my chagrin AND delight. Eventually the virtual customer service reps understood my predicament. With nothing to lose, I negotiated a tiny, disappointing, future discount to compensate for my time and hassle. Realized I actually lost money trying to do the right thing. 🤦🏼‍♀️

Gathered all my important things to take downstairs upon waking up one morning. Items included: my current book, Stanley water bottle, phone, AirPods, charger, the previous night’s snack bowl, coffee mug, and sweatshirt, prompting a stare and a rather accurate, “she doesn’t travel light!” quip from Brian. One must minimize the trips up and down the stairs, me thinks.

Questioned a joke made about a problem I was encountering after Brian innocently suggested it was 90% my fault. This resulted in the fastest backpedaling ever witnessed. In the end, we agreed that said problem was only 25% my fault.

Discovered my health insurance has a Rx savings app with Brian shrewdly observing, “What makes Brittany Eilers happy? Discovering she can save money on prescriptions.” Damn straight. A Saturday night well spent.

Received the compliment of a lifetime. A donor told me that I was so good on the phone that if I were selling hammers and nails, he’d buy them from me, even if he already owned them. Tada! I’ve made it. 🤣🎉😁

Noticed a definite uptick in sponsored compression sock ads on my social media feeds. TBD if it’s my age that makes me the targeted demographic or if these influencers really think they can make them cool.

Had Brian serenade Frozen’s “Let It Go” to me after I crabbed that the local news featured stories about meerkats writing letters to Santa instead of info about things like the proposed changes to Montana’s election system. The story about Christmas tree hunting in a regional forest with young children was entertaining, however. See for yourself: https://www.kpax.com/out-and-about/out-and-about-head-outdoors-to-find-that-perfect-christmas-tree

Was given advanced notice by The Scientist that his annual N95 mask fitting appointment would be happening soon (avian bird flu season, don’t you know) and he would need to completely shave his beard. He didn’t want me caught off guard, i.e. thinking there was a stranger in the house and scream. A distinct possibility, given that I have done so, not only in childhood when my dad unexpectedly went clean-shaven, but last year. 🤣

Decided that Brian struggling to put an absolutely massive pumpkin into a seemingly much too small trash bag to eliminate mess while getting seeds for his father’s 2024 garden, was an appropriate metaphor for my day. Much effort, laughter, head-scratching moments, questioning of life choices, creative problem solving, “why the hell not” rationaling, and finally, success.

Celebrated the birthdays of two precious loved ones by reminiscing, sharing How-Did-I-Not-Know-That?! stories, their favorite foods, tears, and plenty of guffaws.

Made it to the play-offs in my Fantasy Football league thanks to complete luck, hand-wringing, prayers, sheer determination, Brian’s mentorship, badgering of our Commissioner, a growth mindset, and my obsessive nature.

Watched as The Scientist donned lab gloves (from his personal garage stash) to fluff the fake Christmas tree. Shook my head and declared that I needed to resume my weekly updates to document these shenanigans. Decided he knew what was up after getting scratched arranging our mini fake tree sans hand protection.

Commented casually that said lab gloves made him look like he was about to commit a crime. Received a, “Sweet!” in response. Later had it explained to me how they also contribute to Scientist Hands. Sweat=Excessive Dryness

Wore our festive holiday sweaters while decorating until we got too warm and unceremoniously tossed them on the sofa that had already been moved twice to accommodate the tree. Sweater design choice? Metallica for him, and Mrs. Claus for me.

Thoughtfully inquired as to whether or not he wanted me to tell him about the gaps in the fake tree branches. Was politely told to wait. *Minutes later the whole thing tipped over.*

“Oohed” and “awed” over the carefully and sweetly maintained Christmas ornament inventory Brian’s mother faithfully kept for him during his childhood after re-finding it during tree decorating. Held up various ornaments, consulted said list, and then helpfully announced to Brian, “Look, honey, you got this one the year you were <insert age here!>” much to his amusement and my delight.

Encountered the neighborhood historian, aka the person that’s lived here for decades and still kicks himself for not buying the 40 acres our housing development now sits on, while on a walk. Continued to be impressed by the scope of his knowledge and ability to remember intricate details of people’s lives from decades ago. Plus, his dog Molly is pretty great.

Accepted praise from doctors during health check-ups for already receiving my updated COVID and flu vaccines this season. Refrained from adding, “Just give me ALL the vaccines!” Realized it was poor planning, (but immense privilege) on my part to schedule these appointments within the same 24 hour period.

Manifested for snow after hearing there was a wildfire in a nearby county by wearing my most wintry themed sweater. Realized that having no snow on the ground, coupled with lots of brown everywhere, contributed to me not registering that it’s practically December. Good for driving, bad for everything else.

Began to think of myself as an armchair expert on Chronic Wasting Disease due to proximity of the microbiologist doing the testing, and exploring Fish and Wildlife’s handy online data dashboards. (I’m not, obviously, but AM genuinely curious to know if hunters choose to submit samples for testing much to the chagrin of those I ask.) 🤣

Worked late at the empty office. Was incredibly productive in my little booth nook until the motion-sensor lights turned off plunging me into complete darkness, requiring me to get up and literally dance around to get them on again. Repeat every 10 minutes.

Volunteered at the book sale and gasped in alarm to see the line of customers snaking into the actual library a full 30 minutes prior to opening. Wanted to simultaneously laugh and shake my head when I learned folks had actually began to line up 45 minutes even before I arrived. Could absolutely picture folks with their noses pressed against the doors as my fellow board member described them. Yay for book lovers!

Received an online order from Black Friday. Wondered why my package was so dang heavy considering what I purchased was light-weight. Opened it to discover someone else’s faux leather jacket. Was relieved when I checked my account and confirmed I hadn’t impulse shopped, but disappointed it was three sizes too small for me to wear.

Attended a dear friend’s “Baby Sprinkle.” Left when it became a full on blizzard complete with a spinning STOP sign of doom. Montana sure likes its springtime snow squalls.

Received the lucky news that I had been selected to try and purchase Adele presale tickets for a concert on my BIRTHDAY! Managed to secure two tickets, spending more than I have ever spent on a concert. Haven’t been that nervous since doing a presentation in which I asked for $100k for my work’s capital campaign. Cheers to the most epic birthday ever!

Dyed Easter eggs with a loved one. Happily showed her how to shrinky-dink the eggs using the plastic wrappers provided in the kits. Cursed when I realized I hadn’t taken any photos.

Traveled 3 hours north at a very early hour to witness the snow geese migration at Freezeout Lake. Didn’t see the 60,000 birds that were there earlier in the week, but did gasp in awe watching smaller groups fly overhead.

Did an early morning book swap porch drop with a friend en route to birdwatching. She got my favorite book of the year and I got next month’s book club read complete with a sexy, near shirtless person on the cover.

Heard from the neighbor as they needed to borrow a ladder. Wondered if they were wanting to use it to remove their Christmas lights. They were!!

Got a text from the bestie who was at a day spa complete with photo proof. I reciprocated and sent a photo of my current location: in front of the sign noting the worlds largest malt provider in itty bitty, Fairfield, MT.

Discovered that oddly enough, the Blu-Ray remote will briefly illuminate the battery operated candles when you hit the ‘stop’ button much to our confusion and wonder.

Celebrated Easter in our usual way: plenty of candy, cinnamon rolls, mimosas, and me accidentally eating the Reese’s Peanut Butter Egg I bought for Brian. Made up for it by hiding eggs for him around the house that had little notes of things I love about him.

Finished our last citizen scientist bird count for the season. Easiest volunteer gig in the world: Sit and stare out the window and note the temp and lack of birds.

Overheard While Decorating For Christmas: (while fluffing and arranging the finicky fake tree) Brian: This is the worst part. This is why people have children. Me: Children would not be doing this part. Trust me.

Took a wintery walk on a local trail only to have Brian abruptly halt to stare at the trees. Questioned his sanity when he announced someone painted them to look like a horse if you stood just right. Very cool effect, but naughty to paint on trees. (See pic below.)

Received a bounty of Trader Joe’s treats from a traveling and thoughtful friend. Goods included 5 burritos, chips, chocolate, and our beloved peanut butter pretzels.

Briefly panicked after my car wouldn’t start causing me to reschedule a bevy of afternoon activities. Brian installed a new battery and it happily started. Much praise was given. Some praise was removed (and later a “told you so” given) after learning that he’d dropped a tool down into the engine. I doubted this and asked if it was just in his pocket. Firmly assured it was not. Confirmed he’d checked ALL pockets. He answered in the affirm. It was in his pocket.

Realized that even the hold outs seem to be getting COVID as no fewer than four of our friends or loved ones came down with it. Empathized with a friend that her diagnosis sadly meant she did not have the genetic mutation that would have made her immune.

Was given A “Well, when you’re a f*ckin’ scientist!” as way of explanation when I gave him the LOOK after Brian magically, mentally converted celsius temperature into Fahrenheit abiding by something having to do with 9/5ths rule.

Got festive and visited a beautiful nutcracker display chock full of holiday charm and yummy treats. A loved one happily found the booze to add to the merriment.

Took our couple’s Elf on the Shelf game up a notch as we began “receiving” notes from our elves with helpful hints as to where they were located. Clearly married the cutest man on the planet as he started this new tradition much to my delight.

Watched USC lose a second time to the same team in the same season. Gave up and found a YouTube webcam of a Florida martini bar. Spent more time than I care to admit happily judging and creating stories to go with the wide array of outfits and patrons we saw.

Busted out the adult sized advent calendar that Brian purchased at Costco weeks ago. Team Eilers is officially bursting with holiday spirit.

Managed to address and mail out 130 Christmas cards. No tears this year much to my surprise and Brian’s relief.

Compared preferred brand of COVID tests with a friend as they unfortunately came down with it just in time for the holiday. Season’s greetings for sure.

Gasped out loud upon checking the price sticker of Brian’s favorite Thanksgiving pumpkin tarts as they literally doubled in cost.

Left a colleague’s favorite candy on the porch as a thank you for allowing me the joy of opening the end of the year mail that was chock full of donations. If you work at a nonprofit as a development professional, you understand the joy.

Commiserated with a friend that had to find a drugstore en route to family Thanksgiving to buy COVID tests after a close contact tested positive. Nothing like testing in a car to make the holidays feel bright.

Realized that the local pop station had already begun playing Christmas music. A solid 3 days before Thanksgiving. And then they had the audacity to brag about it during the next commercial break. The nerve.

Got the Wordle in 1 on Thanksgiving thanks to my genius husband. Googled the odds of this happening and it’s 1 in 12,972. FEAST for the win!

Received a, “Are you done side-seat cooking?” after peppering Brian with questions related to various side dishes. I was, in fact done, having run out of dishes to question, but especially after that comment lest I be told I’d have to do it next year.

Decided it wasn’t Thanksgiving until Brian made his annual pillow fort post-dinner. Two cushions and a blanket roll later, he was set.

Overheard at The Eilers: Thanksgiving Edition Brian: Oh, God. I’m full. Me: <nods in the affirmative>. Brian: I had two tartlets when you went upstairs. Me: Spoken like a true confession.

Wore my lucky birding socks and adventured a total of 144 miles in search of Snow Buntings and Horned Larks. Miraculously found them after driving down this one random ranch road in which they are known to congregate.

Experienced a birding miracle in our very own yard as we spotted a record 12 species in a day. Downside? Brian did, in fact, manifest that Northern Shrike we hoped for, but it hit our window and took ample time to recover before flying off.

Mysteriously (and accidentally) had my alarm go off at 4am waking both of us. Had to stop Brian from going downstairs as he thought it was actually time to get up.

Managed to cut a hole in my new dress as I removed it from the shipping envelope. Many swear words were uttered. Thankfully, the hole isn’t noticeable when you wear it because I doubt Stitch Fix would believe it arrived with a quarter sized hole already in it.

Attended virtual volunteer citizen scientist training for our upcoming stint doing monthly Rosy-Finch bird counts. Manifesting seeing these beautiful birds in our yard begins now.

Aced my annual exam according to my doctor but also had it explained to me that in order to get my BMI to acceptable levels, I needed to lose 15 pounds. So, I broke even?

Enjoyed a pretty sunset that sadly starts earlier and earlier. Was pleasantly surprised to see that my phone made it look better than it actually appeared.

Had a work call abruptly end because my colleague had to go shoo her dogs away from incoming moose. Such a Montana problem to have.

Received a request for The Scientist to consult on a recently published COVID article that suggested vaccine side effects may mimic certain symptoms of cancer. He determined it was legit and in a scientific journal that has an “okay impact factor that people want their work published in.”

Celebrated Rivalry Week for our two favorite teams along with College GameDay’s appearance in our town. Drank too much, ate too much and took too many naps. Was ready for bed by 6pm.

Enjoyed startling the California friends with screenshots of our negative degree temps. A bit early for this type of weather me thinks.

Felt annoyed that with 7 streaming services there was STILL nothing on. How quickly one revisits the whiny days of childhood.

Spent the first two work days in the basement of a bank in their community room stuffing our annual appeals. Received visits from not only my contact, but the bank president. Realized my zipper was down after said visits.

Awoke to a wintry snowscape. Sent the So Cal bestie pics of the frozen snowflakes on our windows which promptly confused the godchild.

Listened as my colleagues at the staff meeting began screaming as a mouse scampered about our feet. About what I’d expect when one has their meeting in an empty storefront at the mall.

Painstakingly learned how to use my new work Macbook Pro after being a lifetime PC person. After each successful skill set mastered, happily messaged the director of operations who assured me she liked the updates as she was supportive of my Mac journey.

Absolutely cackled when college football announcers commented on the “plummeting” temps for an upcoming game. Plummeting to the 40’s that is, inspiring nothing but guffaws from the Montanans currently experiencing 3° temps.

Considered my Saturday “booked” as it was virtual book club AND I volunteered on behalf of the public library accepting book donations at their driv-thru event.

Tried to refrain from judging Brian too quickly as he placed our rather large pumpkin front and center on the hallway table. It is a perfect pumpkin, but still.

Celebrated the epic news that College GameDay is coming to Bozeman next week in honor of the Cat Griz rivalry game. Anticipate that town will be in absolute freak out mode.

Wore my newly won winter hat from a local ice cream shop. Immediately smelled baked goods. Brian confirmed, in fact, that I smelled like waffle cones.

Arrived to the Modern Rock Orchestra performance with the glow of having won free tickets and managing to drag my introverted, homebody self out on a Saturday night. Discovered we weren’t the only “winners” after listening to conversations of other guests in our vicinity. We all found this amusing to no end.

Enjoyed the concert with a glass of wine in my hand. Conveniently provided to me in a plastic sippy cup to keep the historic theater decor free from any inadvertent spilling disasters.

Mentally shook my head when The Scientist casually announced that he’s going to spend the next week cutting in the closet aka prepping lymph node samples for testing now that Chronic Wasting Disease testing is upon us.

Listened as The Scientist lamented that wearing Halloween costumes at the lab could be tricky. As in his colleague couldn’t be a fairy because the wings wouldn’t fit over the lab coat.

Celebrated Halloween together as a family and waited in anticipation for trick or treaters, a neighborhood rarity. Scurried excitedly to the door a whooping three times- a new record! Our favorite being the dragon toddler that grabbed at least three full sized candy bars as his mom tiredly said he was trick or treating for her anyway when we looked to her for permission.

Counted down the days to the start of Starbuck’s holiday cup season, a legit holiday for all that celebrate. Cheered that my first cup was the green one, my declared favorite.

Justified the purchase of the 10lb bag of flour at Costco with the frequently exclaimed, seldom untrue adage, “Winter is long here!”

Watched as Brian aggressively pushed our shopping cart in the direction of the return area only to see him panic upon realizing it was sailing towards a car instead. The man can seriously hustle when called for, let me tell ya.

Slept in which pleased Brian as he predicted it would bode well for acclimating ourselves to the pending time change. It meant little to me as I sat crabby and in desperate need of coffee on the sofa.

Committed another entry to the What-Would-You-Do-For-Thrive list. This week it involved participating in a rainy parking lot fundraiser taking people’s money in exchange for a primo spot near the Bobcat game. One can only be so cheery while standing in a puddle.

Peppered Brian with questions to ascertain if all the nightly “We’re Going To Bed!” procedures were followed. Overheard him mutter, “Good job” to himself, both as a way to self-congratulate and soothe.

Realized that winter was upon us. Can only describe the first snow as less Lorelei Gilmore and more, “Why do we live here? It was just so nice!” To be repeated for the next 6 months.

Typical Montana Things: Having your best friend say, “I saw you checking out his gun.” Repeatedly saying, “It’s STILL snowing!” Debating with a neighbor whether or not to go in on a snowblower.

Noticed our favorite newscasters were no longer sitting socially distant. The surest sign the worst of the pandemic is behind us.

Was helpfully told by a college kid taking my lunch order that while he wasn’t sure exactly how to spell my name, he went ahead and used the classic version. I felt a momentary appreciation until he shared classic to him meant Britney Spears.

Ooh and ahhed over a recent sunrise along with most of the region and was mighty impressed with the image my mom contributed to the photography efforts.

Purchased full size candy bars to hand out during Halloween so we can live large in the neighborhood children’s memories as being That House.

Dedicated the evening hours to watching Halloween themed movies including Scream (Brian’s selection), Hocus Pocus 2 (Do not feel compelled to add to next year’s rotation), and Poltergeist (Highly entertaining family fun for all)! Can confirm that two out of three of these movies made me ask for an escort up the stairs so he could check for scary things.

Entered a social media contest to win Modern Rock Orchestra tickets. Won! But now that means we actually have to go.

Overheard At the Airport: (A man walking his toddler around to tire her out before a flight) Parent: You want me to save this food for you? No? Okay. Yes? Oh, okay. So you do. I get it. Parenting is easy if I just do what you say.

Tire change-over season began in earnest with a loved one opting to just store her tires in the car itself instead of using sandbags for traction. TBD on how this works out.

Accidentally confused Brian. I reached for his beer and he thought I was reaching to hold his hand. He was less disappointed than you would think.

Struggled to figure out what to do for this year’s Christmas card photo. Decided to go with Brian’s idea. It involved a date at the mall, using their various photo booths, and other wise being awkward individuals. So basically like any other photo shoot.

Celebrated a mega fantasy football win against our league’s commissioner aka my mortal enemy. With a less than 5% chance of winning, my final player made ACTUAL history and scored the necessary points needed for victory. Take that, bro!

Requested that The Scientist bring home several pairs of disposable gloves for clean up duty post weekend fundraiser. Two BOXES in different sizes were brought instead with him noting the lab’s stellar bulk discount.

Was questioned at a doctor appt check-in (during their COVID protocols section) as to if I’ve been anywhere out of state in the last month. Blanked. Then happily remembered that yes, in fact, I had. Finally. Success.

Overheard with The Eilers: (After admittedly already backseat driving.) Me: Are your lights on? Brian: MY CAR. Me: <grimaces> Brian: I mean thank you.

Experienced mask panic for the first time in a good, long while thanks to me forgetting that medical offices require them. Back up car mask in glove compartment for the win!

Received a private tour of a raptor rescue and rehabilitation center. Got to meet Ninety-Nine their Bald Eagle resident up close and personal. Thought he was magnificent even when he made a truly terrible screeching noise.

Basked in the glow of the most glorious and long-lasting fall in my Montana history. Copious oohs and ahs were distributed appropriately and many walks were taken to admire.

Enjoyed a trip down nostalgia lane by having McDonald’s happy meals. We just wanted the Halloween “Boo” buckets to be honest.

Learned many things about North Carolina including that it has 16 universities, few communities are built on a grid system, you don’t get to choose your own standard license plate, and that those in the know order their tea half and half.

Visited Foggy Pine Books in downtown Boone. Was surprised by their intense COVID protocols. I was given a mandatory mask, asked my name, given the choice to wear gloves or use hand sanitizer, told I was allowed to touch the books but had to put unwanted ones in the designated carts, and had their customer inside the store limit policy explained to me.

Added 9 birds to the life list thanks to copious amounts of walks, porch sitting, park and garden visits, and one patient friend that now vows to notice the bird sounds around her. Species spotted included Eastern Bluebird, Northern Cardinal, Carolina Chickadee, Tufted Titmouse, Brown Thrasher, Black-Throated Blue Warbler, Northern Parula, Carolina Wren, and Red-Bellied Woodpecker.

Spent my first night in North Carolina at my friend’s new rental house, which happened to be her very first night there. Noticed an interesting and unknown button on the toilet. Ignoring our instincts we inadvertently bideted ourselves with toilet water. Coined the phrase, “Friends that bidet together, stay together!”

Had family dinner with folks that self-identified as swingers. Thoroughly enjoyed myself and was absolutely tickled by the novelty of the evening.

Marveled at all the brick buildings in North Carolina as this So Cal kid never saw any thanks to them being unsafe in earthquake country.

Enjoyed many Southern inspired foods while visiting North Carolina including fried cornbread, biscuits-regular and frosted, chicken sandwiches, hush puppies, and beer with actual blueberries floating in it.

Spotted a rather tall mailbox while walking and couldn’t help but wonder how on earth the mail carrier would manage. Then noticed the word Bills painted on it. Touché.

Ordered a burnt mallow latte because I was feeling festive. It arrived and while delicious, was eerily charcoal gray. Proceeded to worry if my teeth would match.

Accidentally called 911 and only noticed because I heard the operator inquire about my emergency. Offered frantic apologies and vowed to be more careful in the future.

Hiked Ousel Falls with visiting family. Enjoyed the transitioning fall colors. Happily reminisced about our proposal spot and proudly showed off our wedding anniversary plaque.

Visited the local history museum with family and captured my “mug shot.” Jail would not agree with me.

Went full adult beast mode and scheduled my snow tire changeover appointment, secured my REAL ID (an actual nightmare when your name has changed three times) and began sorting through upcoming trip details.

Realized that for my first airplane trip since COVID I will literally be flying into the remnants of a hurricane. But of course!

Came home to Brian proudly announcing he bought us a treat, but one we had to wait until December to receive. Cue the adult-sized advent calendar!

Saw on the local news that there was a recent study indicating that COVID made people more neurotic, among other things. Can confirm.

Faced additional screening at airport security thanks to only having my temporary, paper ID. What does this mean? Your stuff goes into the special red bins, you get an extra pat down, and your stuff gets unpacked and swabbed for explosives piece by piece. 100% do not recommend.

Was one of the few masked travelers. Felt reassured every time someone nearby sneezed. Bought hand sanitizer as soon as I got past security. In true Montana tourist fashion, it had a picture of a mountain range on it.

Discovered that while most things about air travel are the same, some are different. Masks and celebrity make-up lines are available via vending machines and if you don’t feel like standing in a food line, you may order via an app and have it delivered.

Walked nearly 2.5 miles across the Minneapolis-St. Paul airport thanks to a 5 hour layover giving me plenty of opportunity kill time. The sweating caused my bangs to fully embrace their cowlicky nature. Gave zero f*ck s and attempted to straighten them back into place while in the restroom. Failed.

Anxiously awaited the arrival of family. Got curious when they were delayed. Turns out they went to the neighbor’s house instead. Felt grateful we have friendly neighbors.

Had an impromptu ice cream date at my favorite shop. Watched as it became apparent to all in the store that Brian accidentally became an ice cream thief after he grabbed another customer’s cone from counter and promptly began eating it. Quickly learned that is one way to get free ice cream. He managed to double-fist it the entire way home while driving.

Day-tripped to Helena for some brewery visits, baby hikes, and birding. Beers went better than the birding tbh.

Received my COVID Bivalent booster shot. Happily discovered that as I got it at a grocery store pharmacy I was also given a coupon for my next purchase. Which was imminent and involved chocolate themed items.

Congratulated ourselves on getting our booster shots. Felt less congratulatory the next day when the body aches and fever commenced.

Had 3 people send me the same birding related meme after “liking” it myself minutes earlier. It is both nice to be got and apparent that everyone thinks I’m old.

Took custody of “my” pumpkin from my in-laws. “My” pumpkin because I’ve been monitoring it’s progress for months now courtesy of weekly photo updates. It’s the most perfect pumpkin ever.

Sat in the truck’s backseat thanks to visiting family members (different set) sitting shotgun. Discovered we’d stashed COVID tests from our 2021 trip to So Cal. A sign of the times if there ever was one.

Consulted with the bestie on possible coordinating puppy names for their potential new additions. Was most proud of our suggestions of Jelly/Bean and Dot/Dash. Realized she’d sought my opinion so that I’d be invested in her dastardly plan.

Brainstormed potential ideas for this year’s holiday card. Came up with little. After achieving fall photo goals last year, not to mention the sheer hassle, began to question this tradition.

Enjoyed multiple hikes with visiting family, something we would not typically do this time of year thanks to roving bears. But strength in numbers combatted this fear. Did come across fresh bear scat on a popular trail in downtown because Montana.

Learned the phrase “ballhawks” from Brian while watching college football. As in, “Boy, those Trojans sure are ballhawks this season. Felt excited as a NFL used the term the next day and I knew what it meant.

Took a hike on a moderately difficult trail. Birded on our way up which had the bonus of disguising our much needed breathing breaks.

Overheard While Hiking: “This is really going to revive my spirits if I survive.” (It was Brian. Brian said this.)

Had my final dental appointment (fingers crossed) in my extraction/implant saga. Highlights included not crying, learning that my dentist has an encyclopedic Jeopardy-like knowledge of random things, getting a lesson on the merits of Hemingway, and finding out that I will now have to wear a retainer at night. The last one was a sweet, sweet surprise. Not.

Read an article about “Super dodgers” and wondered if The Scientist and I may be one since we’ve never had COVID. Perhaps this will be our claim to fame!

Confirmed that I do, indeed, live in a small town when my next door neighbor unexpectedly attended my networking group as a guest. I now know she’s a virtual trauma informed life coach for entrepreneurs.

Received a rather fitting pair of novelty socks as a gift. I’d say my friend knows me well as I am a nerd and I do like office supplies.

Tallied “What Makes Us Old” with the bestie. Her entry included excitement about the new membership car wash in her town and mine involved making plans to hit up the driv-thru flu shot clinic this weekend.

Peppered the one person I know that’s gotten their new COVID booster as to when the regular folks can expect to get them. TBD.

A “dang-it!” was given upon learning that local pharmacies have had the updated vaccine booster since September 1st. Appointments were quickly made. Special scheduling consideration was given to allow for any potential side effects the next day.

Made my dad proud and mowed half the lawn thanks to Brian purchasing a push mower. If there ever was a novel experience sure to lose its luster, it would be this.

Was dive-bombed by an agitated Red Breasted Nuthatch while taking a much needed breathing break on a hike. Cue breath lost twice.

Received Canadian beer and catsup chips from our recently returned vacationing neighbors in exchange for watering their plants. Yay to the beer, generally hesitant regarding the chips. *Update* Chips are okay in small doses.

Participated in my second fantasy football draft. This stressed out 50% of BSquared as they are now managing two teams, the other partner was whiny about the need to defend their title, and someone that shall be unnamed didn’t secure enough running backs.

Declared it unofficially officially flannel season thanks to the sudden below freezing temps. The term “unofficially” was used as it’s supposed to be back in the 80’s next week.

Received an invitation to be a judge for our local paper’s annual 20 Under 40 Awards. This tickled me no end despite the weekend homework that was porch-dropped and consisted of nominations to review.

Thoroughly enjoyed watching two hot air balloons from my office window. Grimaced as they came thisclose to colliding.

Was told that I looked like I needed a melon at the farmer’s market. I did, in fact, need a melon whereas Brian felt compelled to tell the vendor that he didn’t like them. Exactly what the melon farmer wanted to hear.

Discussed plans to begin “Tech-Free Tuesdays” in an effort to disconnect à la vacation. More books, puzzling, and walks coming at you!

Overheard at the Eilers: Brian: I unjammed your printer while I was upstairs. Me: Ooo, thanks! Brian: Do you want me to show you how I did it? Me: Yeah, no.

Me? I’m just wondering what I did to deserve my work email being bombarded with spam telling me I won free drills from home improvement stores.

Came home to a paycheck for my jury duty services. Unexpected as I had wrongly assumed you were only paid if selected. Either way, I’ll happily take my $15.75.

Discovered that the lab at the hospital now offers a red and green light communication system at check-in. Panicked slightly at first but ended up nailing it. Empathized with those that followed that weren’t so lucky.

Continued on our all things English pop- culture tour and took to calling each other by a new nickname, “Petal.” As in, “It’s time to go to bed, Petal.” It’s amazing what amuses you when you hit middle age, no?

Was deemed eccentric by a loved one eliciting a feeling of pride as it’s clear that I am a tad bit eccentric. Have also been told I’m dramatic, well-intentioned, and kind. Cheers to being well rounded at least.

A “Yay!” was given upon hearing that the FDA authorized the newest Omicron booster vaccine. The Scientist had zero concerns after I pointed out that it was approved before the full human trial info could be reviewed. Well, okay then.

Played the ultimate kid card and was advised by my doctor to ask my mom if I received a particular vaccine in childhood. Somewhere there is a meme about this.

Laughed out loud after learning that my hair stylist had been texting my ex-husband’s number to try and schedule my bangs trim. Hard to say what felt better: getting my bangs trimmed or knowing he was slightly inconvenienced by it.

Felt absolutely ecstatic about the official start to the college football season and enjoyed watching two former USC quarterbacks battle against each other at their new respective teams. Couldn’t help but wonder why they didn’t play that well when they were Trojans.

Celebrated National Cinema Day by attending the movies to see Top Gun: Maverick like the rest of the world. Found extra joy as it was Brian’s first theater experience since the pandemic and a show my dad would have liked.

Survived the first week back to work post vacation blues thanks to zero mishaps awaiting me in my inbox and the best fundraising week of my career. Should probably go on vacation more.

Me? I’m just still in disbelief that my dad will have been gone for three years and brainstorming ways to honor him tomorrow, September 5th. To say he is missed is an understatement. *Update: Created our own little cactus garden named after family property he christened.*

Woke up to discover that I had somehow used our entire month’s data allotment in a day. A real problem when you are staying at a remote cattle ranch where data is necessary as it’s sans wi-fi. The likely culprit? The ABC News app playing in the background overnight.

Came to fully appreciate the phrase, “Vacation Sigh.” As in the first, full deep breath of relief when you finally stop, rest, and realize your vacation has begun in earnest. <inserted contented Ahhhh! here>

Screamed bloody murder (apparently) while showering after a giant black moth landed on me unexpectedly as I was shaving my leg prompting Brian to race in to make sure I wasn’t dead.

Deemed our adventure up the Beartooth Pass in search of Black Rosy-Finches a damn debacle thanks to my vertigo and worsening fear of heights. Calmed thy myself by visiting a brewery and postcarding to loved ones while drinking a cider after we made it down.

Chuckled at the “slow down” sign posted on the rural farm road leading to our cattle ranch Airbnb. Just a reminder: a dog doesn’t need to be smart to be loved.

Half-jokingly instructed Brian, “No more dirt roads!” for the duration of the trip thanks to being jostled about for two days in our quest for vacation day trips. Montana is just as pretty from paved roads I think.

Narrowly escaped drinking my beer after a fly landed in it while relaxing on the porch of our cabin. Immediately handed it off to Brian and watched in amazement as he fished it out and drank it without missing a beat.

Enjoyed a spectacular thunder and lightning show from the safety of our darkened kitchen. Oohed and awed appropriately as if we were watching Fourth of July fireworks.

Enjoyed an early dinner at a BBQ restaurant full of kitsch galore including a life size statue of Betty Boop wearing her own matching mask. Glad to know people’s senses of humor made it out of the pandemic.

Happily counted to our little hearts content while cattle ranch vacationing. As in we saw 36 species of birds, 133 rail cars on a train, 8 deer crossing the mighty Yellowstone River, 23 antelope eating our host’s alfalfa, 3 books read, 8 episodes of BroadChurch binged, and 3 moths invading the cabin on our last night resulting in what forever will be known as MothGate.

Me? I’m just taking photos of my favorite mug full of my favorite coffee from my favorite view.

Survived and thrived through my first ever jury duty appearance. Wore a mask as did more folks than I had expected. Noted that I was absolutely overdressed in slacks vs. the actual house slippers I saw another person wear.

Chuckled internally at another potential juror’s dad joke, “I am enjoying peering at a group of my peers at our jury duty aPEERance.” Chuckled less when it was repeated again a couple of hours later.

Was both delighted and disappointed to not have been chosen, but overall grateful to not have been voir dired by lawyers because they scared me. Especially when they were trying to be nice.

Began to internally panic as more of my people announced (or conveyed through the rumor mill) that they had COVID automatically causing me to think my throat was scratchy and that I had a headache.

Booked an online appointment for a loved one to get tested for COVID in less than a minute. Nice change from the actual hours waiting in line at the urgent care circa my childhood.

Felt exhausted prepping for vacation. Almost considered not going. Did however enjoy the “vacation” shopping trip at Costco and was only slightly judged by the clerk who guessed our total would be over $400. (It was not. Phew.)

Attended my virtual book club to discuss a recently published book of poetry about grief. Cue all the feels. Added bonus included having the author attend and hearing him read a selection. Highly recommend More God Than Dead.

Overheard at The Eilers: Me: Can you stop whistling, please?? I’m too crabby for this. Brian: Oh. Right. Sorry about that. (Starts quietly singing instead.)

Met a friend for early happy hour drinks and snacks downtown. Was politely and firmly told that since we didn’t have a reservation we could have the table for one hour. At 4:30pm on a Wednesday. In Montana. No further evidence of the hipster doofus nature of our mountain town needed.

Me? I’m just accidentally melting my combs by leaving them too close to my straightener.

Worked a water station with colleagues (and Brian, obviously!) during a race benefitting my organization. Cheered, danced, and cowbelled for the runners for an hour resulting in plenty of car honks, lost voices, and frozen faces.

One of us laughed and one of us just looked confused upon hearing the term “Crypto Winter” which is apparently what we are in. Perhaps if you give it a name the people that invested in it won’t panic as much?

Cleaned out my now “teenaged” car in preparation for her first ever detailing. Several things became quickly apparent: I am disgusting, don’t clean it out enough, and am a hoarder as evidenced by the three pairs of sunglasses, my old iPod, receipts from 2012, a granola bar that expired years ago, and the outright trash I never threw away.

Attended a production of Sound of Music in honor of my mom’s one year Montana Anniversary. The fam and I wore masks the whole time and took great comfort in seeing 10% of the attendees had them on as well. Added introvert bonus that I recognized no fewer than four people but found myself once again camouflaged thanks to said mask, bangs, and hair color.

This week’s fun Brian fact included learning that he and his lab partner can detect an animal’s age thanks to the amount of plaque in its rabies brain sample. A collective, unnerved, impressive, “ew,” am I right?

Debated about what to do with our leftover cloth face masks. Decided they could be made into a nice, commemorative pillow case to honor the fiery hellscape that has been the last two years.

Worked our Western-themed gala alongside my favorite “voluntolded” person, Brian. Received many compliments on my impeccable greeting abilities and borrowed cowboy hat. Survived and thrived our way through 90° heat, a torrential downpour, lightning, giant spiders, and me somehow being in charge of tracking the money during the live auction and call for cash.

Overheard at the Eilers:
Me: Agh! I just got a clothing sponsored post for “mature” women! Brian: Just a matter of time before you start getting your own AARP card.

Realized that I forgot to remove the THIRD and final tag from my new jacket AFTER I had been out and about wearing it in public.

Me? I’m just wondering what to wear to jury duty and if I’m allowed to bring a book as after being “on deck” for two years of service, I’m officially at bat.

Picked a half gallon of berries. Gave myself plenty of kudos and shall now be known as “Champion Berry Picker of the World.” Did receive the begrudging praise of, “Good job” from the resident farmer to back this claim up.

Received a lengthy lesson during dinner from my father-in-law regarding the merits of various animal sh*t as fertilizer. You know that scene in Forest Gump when Bubba listed the ways shrimp can be used? Yeah, it was like that prompting my mother-in-law to quip, “Good thing we’re done eating.”

Continued to marvel at my mother-in-law’s ability to absolutely nail birthdays as evidenced by the camping themed cake AND matching card she created to celebrate Brian. It had a real campfire on the cake, people!

Left a brewery and saw an incoming customer wearing her N95 mask as a necklace pendant. This was a new one.

Was loudly referred to as “The Wise Ones” by another hiker as we were finishing our hike prior to the heat of the day while they were just starting theirs. Well, duh.

Cried at the dentist during a procedure. Wanted to keep crying when I paid the first half of the bill at checkout. Learned that you don’t get a discount if you cry, but they are extra nice to you after.

Felt immensely proud to have been invited to walk alongside the local library’s bookmobile parade entry in our town’s quintessential festival. Declined because of weather and even this Leslie Knope’s inability to keep a smile on my face for that long.

Managed to capture a photo of a robin and their fledgling preening together on our fence. Decided their expressions fit the current mood of the afternoon.

Received the most brilliant gift courtesy of another Trojan loving relative for the upcoming football season: A USC bottle opener that plays their fight song. Epic.

Overheard at the Eilers:
(After relaying a smattering of bad news and inconveniences)
Me: Agh, God. I’m such a whiner.
Brian: But you’re all mine.

Manifested for multiple loved ones that they don’t get COVID after being exposed. Also manifested that I don’t actually have to do the jury duty service that I just received for the week leading up to our very much needed vacation.

Me? I’m just discreetly taking pictures of my neighbor’s hollyhocks since we inexplicably cannot seem to grow our own.

Overheard at The Eilers:
(Brian distinctly beginning to sing)
Me: Omg, what are you singing? Is that the Barney song?
Brian: (stops immediately) Uh, yeah, I think so…I didn’t realize what it was until then.

Discovered that international tug of war is an actual thing. Highly entertaining TV watching if one is bored on a Saturday morning. And taken very seriously by a good many countries in Europe apparently.

Had the quintessential Montana morning. Breakfasted at the reservoir, hiked, and U-Picked our way to anxiety inducing, semi-artfully arranged floral bouquets.

Volunteered in my capacity as a board member ringing up customers during the library book sale. Can 100% confirm that I have forgotten all forms of basic math including counting, addition, multiplication and making change. This is why I’m not allowed access to QuickBooks at work.

“Metabolics is a just a joke! It’s just so hard to publish the data!” in response to one of The Scientist’s papers being rejected for review. Used my very best social workery skills to empathize. Learned also the difference between high impact and low impact journals.

Was referred to and celebrated as the basement troll that I was after helping to pack and sort 40+ boxes of books last week. Having not been called this particular name before I suspected it was high praise and took it as a compliment.

Heard The Scientist call COVID the ‘rona for the first time, well, ever. Even he is giving up. How far we’ve come from the days of SARS-CoV-2.

Attended my first movie since 2019 thanks to work’s wellness book club wanting to judge the movie version vs. book. Wore a mask. Felt slightly better each time I heard someone near by sneeze or cough. Opted not to indulge in my contraband Junior Mints in order to remain masked up.

Passed a sad little billboard awaiting its next advertisement while traveling through rural Montana. Currently on it? Graffiti with the following words, “I Am Tired.” Same, same.

Snacked my way through my father-in-laws massive garden. Decided sunkissed raspberries are legit the best and that Walla Walla onions are delicate little things that I am now afraid to touch lest they bruise.

Negotiated with a coworker for a much needed office supply porch drop. I received 7 thank you notes with envelopes in exchange for 1 address label and a 13 page print job. Oh, the remote life is glamorous, indeed.

Bounded down the stairs after hearing a startling noise emanating from the kitchen. Discovered the freezer had wigged out scattering quickly melting ice cubes throughout the entire area.

Me? I’m just problem-solving my way to getting Brian the ladder he wanted for his birthday by having him pick it up himself.

Continued to marvel at the difference between our respective body temps. I require a jacket, pants, and an electric blanket year round and struggle whenever the portable AC gets turned on prompting the semi-regular and exasperated, “How are you so cold all the time?!” from Brian.

Enjoyed the PBS Documentary channel, our favorite purchase from Amazon Prime Days. So far enjoyed? Planet California and a doc on the Donner Party. What can I say? I’m nostalgic for home.

Received official confirmation from The Scientist’s former boss that the paper on their project was submitted to the Journal of Biological Chemistry. My contribution of, “Oh, that sounds like an important one” was met with an eye roll and uncomfortable giggle.

Interrupted a porch drop scaring all parties involved. She thought I was coming to say hi and I thought I was just checking the weather. Cue startled shrieking and numerous apologies.

Celebrated Christmas in July by making my family’s infamous cookies, drinking mimosas, listening to a truly excellent Spotify Christmas in July playlist, watching Die Hard, and reading a holiday romance. Was going well until it was discovered that a key ingredient was two years expired. Will always refer to this episode as Powder Sugar-Gate. Instacart was discovered as a consequence.

Was informed ever so causally by Brian that a second paper for another project was ready to be submitted as well. This time had to wait while he signed a submission release confirming his contributing authorship.

Empathized with a friend recovering from COVID that this variant’s symptoms were different and in some ways, worse. Ah, for the variant of yesteryears.

Unconsciously used movies to give each other pumped up morning goodbyes. Mine? A variation of The Help’s “You is kind. You is smart. You is Important.” His? Cool Runnings’ “I see pride! I see power! I see a bad-ass mother who don’t take no crap off of nobody!”

Watched in amusement as Mr. Pickle Hater himself ordered a pickle based sandwich and two days later brought home a dill inspired salad mix. He had a 50/50 track record and many kudos were given to him for trying new things.

Got invested in a Tale of Two Cats: The Bobcat and the Kitten That Lived courtesy of The Scientist’s ever interesting lab happenings. We were all pleased that the bobcat was not rabid and therefore the kitten was spared twice. Must be one resilient feline.

Learned through scientific osmosis that if you want to ensure that the bat you need tested will be DOA, don’t just assume it will suffocate in the Tupperware you sealed it in. Or The Scientist and his lab partner have to problem solve.

Me? I’m just paying the consequences of not lifting with my legs after sorting and packing boxes of books.

Listened as The Scientist ping-ponged scientific terms and other scholarly discussions with the host of a BBQ we attended. Received multiple questions from others within earshot of these exchanges asking if I understood any of it and was it always like this. That would be hard no and yes, respectively.

Felt decidedly left out in the best possible way as everyone at same said BBQ lamented their COVID illness stories and The Scientist and I were the only ones that could not relate.

Accidentally inked my face while talking with my hands during a work meeting prompting a colleague to hand me a Wet One like the well prepared mom she is much to the delight of everyone in attendance.

Came home to find a very brave prairie dog camped on my driveway refusing to move despite my rapidly approaching car. Eventually I won this particular turf war and he went back to destroying my yard.

Received yet another notice that my identity has been compromised due to the hacking of my former mortgage company. Good news though, I have identity monitoring until at least age 60 through a variety of companies.

Continued to have birthday present drama with Brian as he claims not to need anything. Finally received an exasperated, “What I really need is a ladder! And I doubt you’ll be the person to get that for me.” After mildly panicking about how I’d figure THAT out, I confessed that I had hoped he’d request a shirt, beer, or something that would at least fit in my very compact car.

Came thisclose to hitting what turned out to be Brian’s bosses/bestie’s car while attempting to park in the very small lot of a popular eatery basically on the campus of MSU. How did I know it was his? Because he watched the debacle progress (and my panic upon realizing I was essentially stuck) as he was approached. Was given an amused, “Whatcha doin?” Begged him not to tell Brian and then made him leave so I could steal his much better spot.

Went down memory lane as my mom produced a framed note I wrote as a kid begging my parents to play Monopoly with me. My takeaway as an adult? I was a terrible negotiator.

Ooohed and awwed like everyone else upon seeing the images from the James Webb Space Telescope. Universe escapism at its finest right there.

Worked hard to ignore the fact that our community is once again in high transmission. One can only handle so much and this ostrich is checking out.

Me? I’m just enjoying an impromptu after work ice cream date with my mom.