B Squared Takes Big Sky

Overheard While Decorating For Christmas: (while fluffing and arranging the finicky fake tree) Brian: This is the worst part. This is why people have children. Me: Children would not be doing this part. Trust me.

Took a wintery walk on a local trail only to have Brian abruptly halt to stare at the trees. Questioned his sanity when he announced someone painted them to look like a horse if you stood just right. Very cool effect, but naughty to paint on trees. (See pic below.)

Received a bounty of Trader Joe’s treats from a traveling and thoughtful friend. Goods included 5 burritos, chips, chocolate, and our beloved peanut butter pretzels.

Briefly panicked after my car wouldn’t start causing me to reschedule a bevy of afternoon activities. Brian installed a new battery and it happily started. Much praise was given. Some praise was removed (and later a “told you so” given) after learning that he’d dropped a tool down into the engine. I doubted this and asked if it was just in his pocket. Firmly assured it was not. Confirmed he’d checked ALL pockets. He answered in the affirm. It was in his pocket.

Realized that even the hold outs seem to be getting COVID as no fewer than four of our friends or loved ones came down with it. Empathized with a friend that her diagnosis sadly meant she did not have the genetic mutation that would have made her immune.

Was given A “Well, when you’re a f*ckin’ scientist!” as way of explanation when I gave him the LOOK after Brian magically, mentally converted celsius temperature into Fahrenheit abiding by something having to do with 9/5ths rule.

Got festive and visited a beautiful nutcracker display chock full of holiday charm and yummy treats. A loved one happily found the booze to add to the merriment.

Took our couple’s Elf on the Shelf game up a notch as we began “receiving” notes from our elves with helpful hints as to where they were located. Clearly married the cutest man on the planet as he started this new tradition much to my delight.

Watched USC lose a second time to the same team in the same season. Gave up and found a YouTube webcam of a Florida martini bar. Spent more time than I care to admit happily judging and creating stories to go with the wide array of outfits and patrons we saw.

Busted out the adult sized advent calendar that Brian purchased at Costco weeks ago. Team Eilers is officially bursting with holiday spirit.

Managed to address and mail out 130 Christmas cards. No tears this year much to my surprise and Brian’s relief.

Compared preferred brand of COVID tests with a friend as they unfortunately came down with it just in time for the holiday. Season’s greetings for sure.

Gasped out loud upon checking the price sticker of Brian’s favorite Thanksgiving pumpkin tarts as they literally doubled in cost.

Left a colleague’s favorite candy on the porch as a thank you for allowing me the joy of opening the end of the year mail that was chock full of donations. If you work at a nonprofit as a development professional, you understand the joy.

Commiserated with a friend that had to find a drugstore en route to family Thanksgiving to buy COVID tests after a close contact tested positive. Nothing like testing in a car to make the holidays feel bright.

Realized that the local pop station had already begun playing Christmas music. A solid 3 days before Thanksgiving. And then they had the audacity to brag about it during the next commercial break. The nerve.

Got the Wordle in 1 on Thanksgiving thanks to my genius husband. Googled the odds of this happening and it’s 1 in 12,972. FEAST for the win!

Received a, “Are you done side-seat cooking?” after peppering Brian with questions related to various side dishes. I was, in fact done, having run out of dishes to question, but especially after that comment lest I be told I’d have to do it next year.

Decided it wasn’t Thanksgiving until Brian made his annual pillow fort post-dinner. Two cushions and a blanket roll later, he was set.

Overheard at The Eilers: Thanksgiving Edition Brian: Oh, God. I’m full. Me: <nods in the affirmative>. Brian: I had two tartlets when you went upstairs. Me: Spoken like a true confession.

Wore my lucky birding socks and adventured a total of 144 miles in search of Snow Buntings and Horned Larks. Miraculously found them after driving down this one random ranch road in which they are known to congregate.

Experienced a birding miracle in our very own yard as we spotted a record 12 species in a day. Downside? Brian did, in fact, manifest that Northern Shrike we hoped for, but it hit our window and took ample time to recover before flying off.

Mysteriously (and accidentally) had my alarm go off at 4am waking both of us. Had to stop Brian from going downstairs as he thought it was actually time to get up.

Managed to cut a hole in my new dress as I removed it from the shipping envelope. Many swear words were uttered. Thankfully, the hole isn’t noticeable when you wear it because I doubt Stitch Fix would believe it arrived with a quarter sized hole already in it.

Attended virtual volunteer citizen scientist training for our upcoming stint doing monthly Rosy-Finch bird counts. Manifesting seeing these beautiful birds in our yard begins now.

Aced my annual exam according to my doctor but also had it explained to me that in order to get my BMI to acceptable levels, I needed to lose 15 pounds. So, I broke even?

Enjoyed a pretty sunset that sadly starts earlier and earlier. Was pleasantly surprised to see that my phone made it look better than it actually appeared.

Had a work call abruptly end because my colleague had to go shoo her dogs away from incoming moose. Such a Montana problem to have.

Received a request for The Scientist to consult on a recently published COVID article that suggested vaccine side effects may mimic certain symptoms of cancer. He determined it was legit and in a scientific journal that has an “okay impact factor that people want their work published in.”

Celebrated Rivalry Week for our two favorite teams along with College GameDay’s appearance in our town. Drank too much, ate too much and took too many naps. Was ready for bed by 6pm.

Enjoyed startling the California friends with screenshots of our negative degree temps. A bit early for this type of weather me thinks.

Felt annoyed that with 7 streaming services there was STILL nothing on. How quickly one revisits the whiny days of childhood.

Spent the first two work days in the basement of a bank in their community room stuffing our annual appeals. Received visits from not only my contact, but the bank president. Realized my zipper was down after said visits.

Awoke to a wintry snowscape. Sent the So Cal bestie pics of the frozen snowflakes on our windows which promptly confused the godchild.

Listened as my colleagues at the staff meeting began screaming as a mouse scampered about our feet. About what I’d expect when one has their meeting in an empty storefront at the mall.

Painstakingly learned how to use my new work Macbook Pro after being a lifetime PC person. After each successful skill set mastered, happily messaged the director of operations who assured me she liked the updates as she was supportive of my Mac journey.

Absolutely cackled when college football announcers commented on the “plummeting” temps for an upcoming game. Plummeting to the 40’s that is, inspiring nothing but guffaws from the Montanans currently experiencing 3° temps.

Considered my Saturday “booked” as it was virtual book club AND I volunteered on behalf of the public library accepting book donations at their driv-thru event.

Tried to refrain from judging Brian too quickly as he placed our rather large pumpkin front and center on the hallway table. It is a perfect pumpkin, but still.

Celebrated the epic news that College GameDay is coming to Bozeman next week in honor of the Cat Griz rivalry game. Anticipate that town will be in absolute freak out mode.

Wore my newly won winter hat from a local ice cream shop. Immediately smelled baked goods. Brian confirmed, in fact, that I smelled like waffle cones.

Arrived to the Modern Rock Orchestra performance with the glow of having won free tickets and managing to drag my introverted, homebody self out on a Saturday night. Discovered we weren’t the only “winners” after listening to conversations of other guests in our vicinity. We all found this amusing to no end.

Enjoyed the concert with a glass of wine in my hand. Conveniently provided to me in a plastic sippy cup to keep the historic theater decor free from any inadvertent spilling disasters.

Mentally shook my head when The Scientist casually announced that he’s going to spend the next week cutting in the closet aka prepping lymph node samples for testing now that Chronic Wasting Disease testing is upon us.

Listened as The Scientist lamented that wearing Halloween costumes at the lab could be tricky. As in his colleague couldn’t be a fairy because the wings wouldn’t fit over the lab coat.

Celebrated Halloween together as a family and waited in anticipation for trick or treaters, a neighborhood rarity. Scurried excitedly to the door a whooping three times- a new record! Our favorite being the dragon toddler that grabbed at least three full sized candy bars as his mom tiredly said he was trick or treating for her anyway when we looked to her for permission.

Counted down the days to the start of Starbuck’s holiday cup season, a legit holiday for all that celebrate. Cheered that my first cup was the green one, my declared favorite.

Justified the purchase of the 10lb bag of flour at Costco with the frequently exclaimed, seldom untrue adage, “Winter is long here!”

Watched as Brian aggressively pushed our shopping cart in the direction of the return area only to see him panic upon realizing it was sailing towards a car instead. The man can seriously hustle when called for, let me tell ya.

Slept in which pleased Brian as he predicted it would bode well for acclimating ourselves to the pending time change. It meant little to me as I sat crabby and in desperate need of coffee on the sofa.

Committed another entry to the What-Would-You-Do-For-Thrive list. This week it involved participating in a rainy parking lot fundraiser taking people’s money in exchange for a primo spot near the Bobcat game. One can only be so cheery while standing in a puddle.

Peppered Brian with questions to ascertain if all the nightly “We’re Going To Bed!” procedures were followed. Overheard him mutter, “Good job” to himself, both as a way to self-congratulate and soothe.

Realized that winter was upon us. Can only describe the first snow as less Lorelei Gilmore and more, “Why do we live here? It was just so nice!” To be repeated for the next 6 months.

Typical Montana Things: Having your best friend say, “I saw you checking out his gun.” Repeatedly saying, “It’s STILL snowing!” Debating with a neighbor whether or not to go in on a snowblower.

Noticed our favorite newscasters were no longer sitting socially distant. The surest sign the worst of the pandemic is behind us.

Was helpfully told by a college kid taking my lunch order that while he wasn’t sure exactly how to spell my name, he went ahead and used the classic version. I felt a momentary appreciation until he shared classic to him meant Britney Spears.

Ooh and ahhed over a recent sunrise along with most of the region and was mighty impressed with the image my mom contributed to the photography efforts.

Purchased full size candy bars to hand out during Halloween so we can live large in the neighborhood children’s memories as being That House.

Dedicated the evening hours to watching Halloween themed movies including Scream (Brian’s selection), Hocus Pocus 2 (Do not feel compelled to add to next year’s rotation), and Poltergeist (Highly entertaining family fun for all)! Can confirm that two out of three of these movies made me ask for an escort up the stairs so he could check for scary things.

Entered a social media contest to win Modern Rock Orchestra tickets. Won! But now that means we actually have to go.

Overheard At the Airport: (A man walking his toddler around to tire her out before a flight) Parent: You want me to save this food for you? No? Okay. Yes? Oh, okay. So you do. I get it. Parenting is easy if I just do what you say.

Tire change-over season began in earnest with a loved one opting to just store her tires in the car itself instead of using sandbags for traction. TBD on how this works out.

Accidentally confused Brian. I reached for his beer and he thought I was reaching to hold his hand. He was less disappointed than you would think.

Struggled to figure out what to do for this year’s Christmas card photo. Decided to go with Brian’s idea. It involved a date at the mall, using their various photo booths, and other wise being awkward individuals. So basically like any other photo shoot.

Celebrated a mega fantasy football win against our league’s commissioner aka my mortal enemy. With a less than 5% chance of winning, my final player made ACTUAL history and scored the necessary points needed for victory. Take that, bro!

Requested that The Scientist bring home several pairs of disposable gloves for clean up duty post weekend fundraiser. Two BOXES in different sizes were brought instead with him noting the lab’s stellar bulk discount.

Was questioned at a doctor appt check-in (during their COVID protocols section) as to if I’ve been anywhere out of state in the last month. Blanked. Then happily remembered that yes, in fact, I had. Finally. Success.

Overheard with The Eilers: (After admittedly already backseat driving.) Me: Are your lights on? Brian: MY CAR. Me: <grimaces> Brian: I mean thank you.

Experienced mask panic for the first time in a good, long while thanks to me forgetting that medical offices require them. Back up car mask in glove compartment for the win!

Received a private tour of a raptor rescue and rehabilitation center. Got to meet Ninety-Nine their Bald Eagle resident up close and personal. Thought he was magnificent even when he made a truly terrible screeching noise.

Basked in the glow of the most glorious and long-lasting fall in my Montana history. Copious oohs and ahs were distributed appropriately and many walks were taken to admire.

Enjoyed a trip down nostalgia lane by having McDonald’s happy meals. We just wanted the Halloween “Boo” buckets to be honest.

Learned many things about North Carolina including that it has 16 universities, few communities are built on a grid system, you don’t get to choose your own standard license plate, and that those in the know order their tea half and half.

Visited Foggy Pine Books in downtown Boone. Was surprised by their intense COVID protocols. I was given a mandatory mask, asked my name, given the choice to wear gloves or use hand sanitizer, told I was allowed to touch the books but had to put unwanted ones in the designated carts, and had their customer inside the store limit policy explained to me.

Added 9 birds to the life list thanks to copious amounts of walks, porch sitting, park and garden visits, and one patient friend that now vows to notice the bird sounds around her. Species spotted included Eastern Bluebird, Northern Cardinal, Carolina Chickadee, Tufted Titmouse, Brown Thrasher, Black-Throated Blue Warbler, Northern Parula, Carolina Wren, and Red-Bellied Woodpecker.

Spent my first night in North Carolina at my friend’s new rental house, which happened to be her very first night there. Noticed an interesting and unknown button on the toilet. Ignoring our instincts we inadvertently bideted ourselves with toilet water. Coined the phrase, “Friends that bidet together, stay together!”

Had family dinner with folks that self-identified as swingers. Thoroughly enjoyed myself and was absolutely tickled by the novelty of the evening.

Marveled at all the brick buildings in North Carolina as this So Cal kid never saw any thanks to them being unsafe in earthquake country.

Enjoyed many Southern inspired foods while visiting North Carolina including fried cornbread, biscuits-regular and frosted, chicken sandwiches, hush puppies, and beer with actual blueberries floating in it.

Spotted a rather tall mailbox while walking and couldn’t help but wonder how on earth the mail carrier would manage. Then noticed the word Bills painted on it. Touché.

Ordered a burnt mallow latte because I was feeling festive. It arrived and while delicious, was eerily charcoal gray. Proceeded to worry if my teeth would match.

Accidentally called 911 and only noticed because I heard the operator inquire about my emergency. Offered frantic apologies and vowed to be more careful in the future.

Hiked Ousel Falls with visiting family. Enjoyed the transitioning fall colors. Happily reminisced about our proposal spot and proudly showed off our wedding anniversary plaque.

Visited the local history museum with family and captured my “mug shot.” Jail would not agree with me.

Went full adult beast mode and scheduled my snow tire changeover appointment, secured my REAL ID (an actual nightmare when your name has changed three times) and began sorting through upcoming trip details.

Realized that for my first airplane trip since COVID I will literally be flying into the remnants of a hurricane. But of course!

Came home to Brian proudly announcing he bought us a treat, but one we had to wait until December to receive. Cue the adult-sized advent calendar!

Saw on the local news that there was a recent study indicating that COVID made people more neurotic, among other things. Can confirm.

Faced additional screening at airport security thanks to only having my temporary, paper ID. What does this mean? Your stuff goes into the special red bins, you get an extra pat down, and your stuff gets unpacked and swabbed for explosives piece by piece. 100% do not recommend.

Was one of the few masked travelers. Felt reassured every time someone nearby sneezed. Bought hand sanitizer as soon as I got past security. In true Montana tourist fashion, it had a picture of a mountain range on it.

Discovered that while most things about air travel are the same, some are different. Masks and celebrity make-up lines are available via vending machines and if you don’t feel like standing in a food line, you may order via an app and have it delivered.

Walked nearly 2.5 miles across the Minneapolis-St. Paul airport thanks to a 5 hour layover giving me plenty of opportunity kill time. The sweating caused my bangs to fully embrace their cowlicky nature. Gave zero f*ck s and attempted to straighten them back into place while in the restroom. Failed.

Anxiously awaited the arrival of family. Got curious when they were delayed. Turns out they went to the neighbor’s house instead. Felt grateful we have friendly neighbors.

Had an impromptu ice cream date at my favorite shop. Watched as it became apparent to all in the store that Brian accidentally became an ice cream thief after he grabbed another customer’s cone from counter and promptly began eating it. Quickly learned that is one way to get free ice cream. He managed to double-fist it the entire way home while driving.

Day-tripped to Helena for some brewery visits, baby hikes, and birding. Beers went better than the birding tbh.

Received my COVID Bivalent booster shot. Happily discovered that as I got it at a grocery store pharmacy I was also given a coupon for my next purchase. Which was imminent and involved chocolate themed items.

Congratulated ourselves on getting our booster shots. Felt less congratulatory the next day when the body aches and fever commenced.

Had 3 people send me the same birding related meme after “liking” it myself minutes earlier. It is both nice to be got and apparent that everyone thinks I’m old.

Took custody of “my” pumpkin from my in-laws. “My” pumpkin because I’ve been monitoring it’s progress for months now courtesy of weekly photo updates. It’s the most perfect pumpkin ever.

Sat in the truck’s backseat thanks to visiting family members (different set) sitting shotgun. Discovered we’d stashed COVID tests from our 2021 trip to So Cal. A sign of the times if there ever was one.

Consulted with the bestie on possible coordinating puppy names for their potential new additions. Was most proud of our suggestions of Jelly/Bean and Dot/Dash. Realized she’d sought my opinion so that I’d be invested in her dastardly plan.

Brainstormed potential ideas for this year’s holiday card. Came up with little. After achieving fall photo goals last year, not to mention the sheer hassle, began to question this tradition.

Enjoyed multiple hikes with visiting family, something we would not typically do this time of year thanks to roving bears. But strength in numbers combatted this fear. Did come across fresh bear scat on a popular trail in downtown because Montana.